Am I Ugly?
This morning as I was washing my face in the bathroom, about to put on my makeup, I looked in the mirror and asked a question that has been visiting me lately: Am I ugly?
I’ve never had self-esteem issues; even when I was a younger, much chunkier little queen. I don’t recall being consistently teased about my weight (or maybe I did and just forgot lol). I’ve always recognized that I wasn’t a Beyonce, but that didn’t stop me from feeling beautiful and fabulous.
But more recently, I’ve been questioning my appearance. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not thin enough? Am I too tall?
I’m sure if you are a woman and you’re reading this, you can already relate to what I am saying. As women, we have a horrible habit of comparing ourselves to other women. We compare ourselves to other women in every area of our life. We are hard on ourselves because society is hard on us. I’m not going to go into a tangent about media influences and societal norms, but ya’ll know what we deal with.
Me questioning my looks recently, is caused by my relationship status.
Now, let me clarify. I am probably one of the most independent people that you have ever met. I do anything and everything by myself. I go to concerts, out to eat, to movies, and travel to cities and other countries all by my lonesome. I truly enjoy my own company and although I’ve wanted to be in a relationship, it hasn’t stopped me from living my best life.
But recently I’ve become super anxious about being in a relationship, and yes, even marriage. When everyone around you is Ella-mai-boo’d-up, engaged, or married, it’s hard to not think about it. (Please do not insert opinions about enjoying my single life and being patient, here)
I am confident in who I am. I know that I am an amazing person with a lot of love to give. I’m saved, and an amazing cook. I’m smart, articulate, and on most days, I think I look good. But not being in a relationship or hardly ever getting approached has caused me to wonder is there really something wrong with me.
This isn’t meant to be a self-pity party, so let’s go from pity to litty. (Lol)
Sis, I know the world wants you to think that you have to be perfect but let me remind you that you don’t. Be yourself. Your full authentic self, whatever that looks like.
The truth is, your authentic self is going to attract the people and things that are meant for you. Nothing else.
Set goals based on what you want to achieve, and not what other people think you should do. Affirm yourself every morning by reminding that beautiful woman that she is strong, powerful, and capable.